Goof-Proof Chocolate Chip Cookies

If my life was somehow hanging in the balance and all I had to do to save myself or the ones that I love was to make chocolate chip cookies – we’d all be pushing up daisies. That is, until I found this recipe for the cookie-crippled like me. These actually turn out soft and not pools of goo resembling something of a cookie afterthought.

Cream the shortening and sugars then add the eggs and vanilla with a flip of a switch, then measure out the dry.

Fluff with a fork and slowly dump it in.

I said SLOWLY!!!

That’s better, keep it going a few seconds longer, just until…

it pulls clean from the sides. That way we don’t have to wash the bowl. Just kidding.

Add the chippage. Yeah, I just made up a new word.

This time I thought I’d try something different since the chips were gargantuan. I rolled some dough and stuck a bit of edible love in the center.

Line them up on an ungreased sheet so that these belly-bombs can practice their expanding powers; like what will happen to my thighs after eating them.

Look! They’re puffy and not piles of goopey-grossness that harden to the point of needing to be fully submerged in a tall, cool glass of milk just so you don't ruin all that dental work you spent the kids college fund on.

The moment of truth. Deflation within acceptable standards while cooling.

Success!!! Yummy goodness to be devoured by rabid wolves, bears, and webolos? If I can do it, so can your three year old.

Goof-Proof Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup shortening (butter flavor's best)

3/4 cup sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking soda

2 1/2 cups flour

1 bag (or half) of chocolate chips

Nuts if you want'em.

Cream shortening and sugars. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix dry and slowly add. Stir until it pulls clean, scoop or form into balls. Bake at 375 for 8-10 min. Cool 1 min. on sheet before removing to rack. Store in airtight container.